The unwritten rules
What nobody tells you about how big organisations work.
Phrases you’ll hear at work, what they often mean, and what you can do about them. It’s general guidance drawn from over 20 years inside large organisations, not a rulebook: every workplace is different.
The decoder
Getting in
“We’re looking for the right cultural fit.”
- What it often means
- They want to know you’ll work well with the team and understand how they operate, not just that you can do the job. Sometimes it’s vague for reasons that have nothing to do with you.
- What you can do
- Read how the organisation describes itself, and prepare one or two real examples of working well with different kinds of people.
Getting in
“Tell me about yourself.”
- What it often means
- Give me a clear, two-minute story of why you’re here and why this role. Not your life history.
- What you can do
- Prepare a short version: where you are now, what you’ve done that’s relevant, and why this role is a sensible next step.
Getting in
“We’ll be in touch.”
- What it often means
- Decisions usually take longer than candidates expect. Silence isn’t always a no.
- What you can do
- Send a short thank-you note, ask about the timeline if nobody mentioned it, and keep your other options moving.
First jobs
“Just use your judgement.”
- What it often means
- They trust you to make a reasonable call, and they want to see how you think.
- What you can do
- Make the call, note why you made it, and let your manager know briefly what you decided.
First jobs
“Can you circle back on this?”
- What it often means
- Come back later with an update or a decision. It hasn’t been dropped.
- What you can do
- Agree when, write it down, and come back before anyone has to chase you.
First jobs
“Any questions?”
- What it often means
- Usually a genuine opening, and a chance to show you’ve been listening.
- What you can do
- Ask one thoughtful question. Save the rest for a follow-up message.
Office politics
“Let’s take this offline.”
- What it often means
- This isn’t the right forum, or the conversation could get awkward in front of others.
- What you can do
- Follow up within a day or two, so the point doesn’t quietly disappear.
Office politics
“I just want to make sure everyone’s aligned.”
- What it often means
- Someone wants support in place before a decision is made, or is expecting objections.
- What you can do
- Find out who needs to agree, and talk to them before the big meeting rather than during it.
Office politics
“That’s an interesting idea.”
- What it often means
- It can mean real interest, or a polite way of parking it.
- What you can do
- Ask what would make it worth trying, and who else should hear about it.
Visibility
“Keep up the good work.”
- What it often means
- You’re doing well, but it isn’t a promise of anything more.
- What you can do
- Ask what excellent looks like at the next level, and how those decisions are made.
Visibility
“Can you send me a quick summary?”
- What it often means
- A chance to put your work in front of someone, and it may be forwarded upwards.
- What you can do
- Lead with the outcome in one or two lines, then add the detail underneath.
Visibility
“Who’s your sponsor?”
- What it often means
- Who senior is actively speaking up for you when you’re not in the room. A mentor advises you; a sponsor advocates for you.
- What you can do
- Build relationships with senior people who know your work first-hand, and keep them updated on what you’re delivering.
Promotion
“You’re nearly ready.”
- What it often means
- There’s a gap that hasn’t been spelled out, or the timing or budget isn’t there yet.
- What you can do
- Ask for the two or three specific things you’d need to show, and agree a date to review them together.
Promotion
“We need to see you operating at the next level.”
- What it often means
- They want evidence that you’re already doing parts of the bigger role.
- What you can do
- Agree which parts, take them on visibly, and keep a simple record of the results.
A note on tone. These are patterns, not certainties. The same words can mean different things in different teams. If you’re unsure, it’s usually fine to ask.
Two-minute check
Which room are you in?
Seven quick questions to suggest where to start. It's a rough guide, not an assessment, and nothing you choose leaves this page.
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Free guide: your first 90 days
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What’s inside
- How decisions really get made, and who to watch
- The first five working relationships worth building
- Making your work visible without feeling like you’re bragging
- Getting the most from your one-to-ones with your manager
- Ten more phrases, decoded
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